Say it with me now!
VACATION!!!
After working for 10 months, I've decided to use some of those vacation days. Yes, finally I'm using PTO for tomorrow, Monday, and Wednesday. What's the point have having vacation days if you don't use them!?? The good news? After taking these 3 days, I'll still have over 2 weeks of leave left! Can you tell I'm in a good mood today? I get to leave work early to boot! PLUS, today was free ice cream day at the Navy Yard! YAY!
On another note, I just caught my supervisor looking at my boobs. How grossed out am I?
I called my friend T last night because I thought I saw his car. It wasn't him, so I just ended up feeling like an idiot. Oh well. Lesson learned... don't flash strangers.
Speaking of strangers, one of the guys I met in Richmond emailed me today. Just out of the blue! I didn't even give him my email address! He just found it on the evite to the Richmond activity. You know what that means? He must
love me. hehe. Just kidding.
Don't I wish.
How long does it take to become skinny? I think this working out thing is a crock! I've been working out almost everyday since January, and what do I have to show for it?! Well, I've lost almost 15 pounds, but 15 pounds in 5 months isn't impressive. Some people can lose that amount in a month.
My body hates me.
That's the only explainable explanation. My body just hates me and refuses to give up my lard butt. I don't think that's fair. Some 300 pound woman can just start taking a walk everyday and the next thing you know, she's a size 2! I don't see that happening to me. Ever. Ever...ever...ever!
For so long, I've tried to keep my family away from my friends. My friends have never met a member of my family and I'd kinda like to keep it that way. I'd rather they think I'm the skinny one in a family of whales, then the fat one in a family of popcicle sticks. This way, they think I'm the skinny one, fighting the odds, when in reality, I'm the fat one. I hate that.
Most of my friends tell me I'm "fabulous"... but I don't feel that way normally. I dress well, I'm outgoing, I try to hold myself with confidence. I guess to some people that translates to fabulousness. But in reality, I have a low self esteem. I dislike a lot about myself. I laugh too loud, I talk too much, I'm too nice, I always say the wrong thing, I can rarely keep a secret as hard as I try, I have a bad temper, I suck at budgeting, my skin is horrible, ... oh and I hate my job. So much. But despite all these things, people perceive me as being very confident. And I'm cool with that.
I got a call for a job interview. Problem: the place is like an hour away from my house
without traffic. Ugh. We'll see. I'm going to ask about pay before I even consider that kind of drive daily.
Its raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring...
Yes, its raining. Thankfully my possessions are still intact thanks to my handy dandy sandbags and my amazing driving skills! No. Really.
I've done it again. I'm starting to fall for a guy I shouldn't. Not that he's a bad guy. He's actually a really good guy. But he's a flirt. I love to flirt with a flirt, but how am I supposed to know if he likes me if he's a flirt? What makes matters worse is my friends have been betting that he and I would hook up. It hasn't happened yet. And before last night I would say it would
never happen. Yeah, but then there was last night. Nothing spectacular happened. I was just hanging out with friends and he was there. It was his simply gestures. I guess maybe I was just craving any type of affection and he gave it to me. He put his arm around me, wrestled with me, made me laugh. It was just what I needed. Its not natural for a girl to go months at a time with
no affection! Maybe I'm just losing my head over nothing. I'm just over-analyzing things. Yeah. That's it. I'm sure its nothing.
I wish I could just make my mind shut off. And I wish I could shut off the rain as well. Rain, rain go away, come again another day.
The highlight of my day: buying 1st row seats to the Wiggles show in Charlottesville!! How sad am I? You're just jealous you didn't get them. I was quick on the draw. Yeah, because I have no life.
*Pigeon note: My mom came in town this weekend and did what I didn't have the nerve to do. She took down the pigeon nest (I got to spray the pigeon away so she could get the nest... I'm such a good helper). Unfortunately, the nest just went back up... because I don't have the nerve to kill a baby bird. But my mom did throw out the other egg that hadn't hatched. Now I'm stuck with a mama and a baby pigeon. But one baby is better than two, right?
Mysterious RT guy...
When I was in college I worked at Ruby Tuesday. It started one summer when I was home for the summer. I was bored out of my mind, I put in an application and they hired me... no experience required! SWEET! So, I worked at this little Ruby Tuesday that had next to no customers, so I made next to nothing. But it was my start.
I was
so excited to be a real waitress. All I had ever been was a hostess. My mom was so proud. She actually came in and ate and gave me a hefty tip. All that's beside the point.
When I was working there, I had a lot of fun with the other servers. They were all around my age, but most of them had made a career of the serving thing... no college for them. There was a guy, I don't even remember his name, that worked there. He was about 30 and his dream job was to be a real fire fighter, not just a volunteer like he was then. He was fairly cute and a flirt. I don't remember much about him except that every time I'd walk into the kitchen to fill up drinks or fix coffee.... pretty much anytime I had my back turned....he'd come up behind me, brush the hair from my neck, and kiss it. It sounds weird and very "sexual harrassment" to me now, but at the time, I didn't mind it. I actually enjoyed it. He never asked me out or made any other attempt to do anything with me. Just every day, a kiss on the neck. I don't know why, but I look back at that experience with fondness. I bet he was a good kisser. I guess that was my first missed opportunity at a NCMO (Non-Committal Make Out). Dang. I should've taken it!
When school started back up in the fall, I transfered to a Ruby Tuesday there. That one had more traffic and I made a bundle. But no guy mysteriously kissing my neck. Weird how I kinda missed it. I went back over Christmas to work at the RT back home, but he was gone. I wonder what ever happened to him?
Memories of my dad
I was thinking about the whole father's day thing, and these memories came back to me.
When I was growing up, I was quite the daddy's girl. My dad would take me golfing with him and I just
loved it. Not that I would actually golf. I would hit the ball a few times (maybe do one hole) then I'd just drive the golf cart. Looking back,
WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS HE THINKING?!!! I was like 6 at the time! But still, I remember sitting in the drivers seat, driving down the fairways, and thinking my dad was the awesomest ever.
Until he bought my older sister kid size golf clubs. I never went golfing with him again. My sister never did go with him....
ever. So, you can imagine how hurt I was. The golf clubs never got used. We sold them at a garage sale a few years ago.
When my dad got his own place after the divorce, he needed furniture, so he thought it would be fun for each of us to go out and pick our own bedroom furniture for his house (not that we were ever going to spend the night... my mom and the courts made sure of that, thank goodness). We were out at swanky furniture places looking around. My sister and I spotted a beautiful four-post bed. I was immediately taken by it. We both rushed up to my dad and started pleading for it. He said he knew just how to settle it. Whoever could say, "I love you dad" first, got the bed. I won. I got the beautiful bed. My brother and sister got twin sled beds. I may have won because I talk extremely fast, but I like to think it was because he loved me best. I never slept in the bed. Not once.
The only thing that compares to that is when my dad forgot my 10th birthday. My mom had made a big deal of it. She threw an elaborate party for me and all my friends, probably spent a fortune. Since my parents were divorced, I saw my dad the weekend after my birthday. Yeah, he totally forgot. Not just forgot, but he was supposed to take my brother, sister, a few of our friends, and me to the lake for a day of waterskiing, and he showed up with his girlfriend and her kids... 3 hours late! We were all in our lake gear, only to have him tell us once we were on the road, that we weren't going to the lake, we were going hiking.
So, we hiked in our lake shoes and flipflops, wearing bathing suits with big coverups over them. And then it rained. And hailed. We were all soaking wet and getting pelted with golfball sized hail, hiking in the mud. As I called out to my dad for help, I watched him lift up his girlfriend's daughter and give her a piggyback. My world crumbled at that moment.
The next weekend when I saw him, my sister reminded my dad about my birthday. He panicked and gave me the first thing he could think of. His saddle. And the promise of horseback riding lessons. Too bad we were moving across the country in 2 weeks. He wouldn't let me take the saddle home and I never got the lessons.
Yeah, so happy belated father's day, dad.
How hot is it?
Well, its not so hot that I sweat
26 ounces per hour! How gross is that? When I read this, I was about to dispute, but they clarified later that it's not the most uncomfortable because Phoenix has like
no humidity. Yeah, Arizona... don't even talk to me!
I was walking at the Navy Yard in SE today and I thought I would die. I felt sure that if I cracked an egg on a black car, it would surely cook to well done. Ugh.
I know you want to know what I did last night! Everyone wants to know. I would want to know if I didn't already know! I went to see him:
I can now, for the rest of my life, say I saw a legend in concert. Just fyi, once people reach a certain age, they can say just about anything. Yep, B.B. King is a bit crude, but I love him anyways. Plus, he said there is no such thing as an ugly woman. (Which is sweet, but I'd challenge him to say that after I introduce him to some of the women I've tripped upon. Can you say Fugly?) And since I was going to a concert, it meant it HAD to rain. I'm a jinx like that. Lawn seats... always fun.
So, it was one of the highlights of my life. Too bad no date was involved. Oh well. I did discover that some very hot guys like blues. I need to start hanging out at blues and jazz clubs...
My trip to Richmond
Over the weekend, I was in charge of my ward's (congregation) road trip to Richmond, VA. Everything leading up to the trip was a nightmare! I was assigned the task Tuesday, and had to execute it on Saturday. Not a great timeline. After hours and hours of research and planning, everyone was in Richmond happy and absolutely content. Except for me:
Me: Which way do I turn here?
A: Uh... right?
Me: We did that earlier, it didn't take us anywhere.
You're the navigator!
You're supposed to know where we're going!!!
A: Maybe I would if you hadn't handed out
ALL the maps to everyone else!
Me: What else was I supposed to do? I'm the planner! I didn't know they would take
ALL the maps!
A: This
SO isn't my fault!
Me: Shut up and tell me where to go.
A: Left.
Me:
LEFT?! You want me to turn LEFT into the CRACK HOUSE?!?!Don't worry, A and I are still friends and we were able to make it out of Richmond in one piece. Barely.
On the upside, I got to see a man pee on the sidewalk at midnight in the ghetto of Washington, D.C. I can now die happy.
My Reality TV
When I was in college, I had a girl in some of my classes that just thought I was HILARIOUS! I thought it was funny that she found me so amusing, but then she started suggesting that I should do stand up. I thought about it seriously. Then.... nah! I realized that I could be funny when I was with a group of my friends, or maybe at a party, but if I tried to
plan to be funny, it never worked out. The jokes wouldn't go as well if I planned out what to say ahead of time.
I guess that's why I find
Last Comic Standing so interesting. I enjoyed watching the auditions, and Tuesday's show was good. Except I wasn't thrilled with the people they chose! There was this Jewish guy that I thought was hilarious... but he didn't make it. Of course. I don't like the pregnant Stella. I think her stuff is crude and not that funny. I do like the Willy Wonka look alike. Yeah, but that's about it. Disappointing if you ask me.
Still, I respect that they can get up there and make people laugh. I have stuff happen to me everyday that I can laugh about, but making other people laugh about your life is something else. When I was contemplating doing stand up, I realized that my family is hilarious. Not in the we're-rolling-on-the-floor-all-the-time kinda funny, but we're disfunctional and people find that funny. However, if I were to get up in public in front of strangers and make fun of my family, I think I'd be disowned. Yeah, another reason not to do stand up.
So, I was talking with a coworker today about what's funny and what's not. And we both agreed that Bridget Jones is SO funny. But I have met people that didn't agree. I love her character! She does the most alarming things.... although they aren't that alarming. I think we've all contemplated doing many of the things she's done. Like in the second movie where she continually barges in on Darcy because she thinks he's cheating. I've thought about doing that, but I never have. And seeing her results, its probably good that I didn't. My thought process is that I believe that many women love Bridget Jones because, as ridiculous as she is, we see a bit of her in each of us. Yes, I can be klutzy and awkward and say all the wrong things. My mother always buys me horrible clothes and insists that I wear them, I have granny panties and the other ones (the sexy unmentionables).... so there's a bit of me in her, and her in me! Not that we're so alike, I mean, she has better legs than me, but horrible hair. Half the time I wouldn't go out looking how she looks throughout the movie. But still I love her. Even if her bottom is the size of two bowling balls.
Plus, I find hope in that Darcy loved her and all of her "wobbly bits".... *sigh*
Stupervisor
Yeah, my day is sucky. Sucky sucky sucky!
I hate that I went to college so that I could get a job where all I do is make copies! I got in this morning and my stupervisor (I'm going to call him that from now on... combo of stupid and supervisor) Charlie had sent me an email asking me to print a few documents out and then bring them to him. How lame is that?! He couldn't simply push the print button himself?!
Yeah, so then he shows up at 9 and comes up to my desk and asks if I have the documents. I said they were printed out and they were sitting in the copy room, I haven't had time to get them yet. He said that he needed them by 10, so to bring them to him as soon as possible... then he continued to WALK BY THE COPY ROOM! He could've just picked them up himself! So, I had to lock up the office, lock my file cabinets, lock up my computer, just so I could go the copy room, get the documents, and drop them on his desk without so much as a THANK YOU! Yeah, your an a**hole Charlie.
He's also the most awkward person in the world. Who yawns in the middle of a sentence? He does it everytime he talks to me. He doesn't even cover it! Yeah, because I'm SO interested in the state of your tonsils! Yesterday he called me on the phone and yawned in the middle of a sentence. I think that's just rude. Just the thought of him yawning makes me gag. EW! The first time I met him I thought he looked like a pedophile. He still does. Bad haircut with a combination of long sideburns and a combover. He always looks messy even if he's wearing a suit. Its all just horrible. It doesn't help that he's completely incompetent. I guess you could say I'm just having one of those..."I hate my stupervisor" days. My boss talked to me yesterday about training for another job but it would require me to drive quite a bit further for awhile but just a couple times a week... but I'm willing to do anything to get out from under Charlie. He's completely incompetent!
I recently caught the show The Office for the first time and I found it absolutely hilarious! Not that I'm actually working in that kind of atmosphere, it just makes it that much more funny! I know I really need to watch Office Space again... I have a feeling that I would get a lot more out of it now. Does everyone have ill feelings toward their bosses or supervisors? I mean, do some people LOVE their job? I know I don't. If I had the choice, I'd quit right now and never work again. I'm lazy like that. That would be the life.
My Weekend Update
Back when I had time to watch SNL, I always loved Weekend Update. I wish I was witty enough to make fun of current events, unfortunately, I don't have the time. Oh, and I love John Stewart.
He's funny (although some of his skits are lame) and easy on the eyes. Too bad I'm non-political. I never have any idea of what's going on in the world.
Yeah, so this weekend my BFF came in town. She got in around 8 on Friday night and we went to a FABULOUS restaurant (
The Evening Star in Delray). I was worried about having the dog around it actually wasn't a problem. I let her sleep in my room in
my bed, that way the dog was contained, and I slept on the couch (I'm a
good friend). Thank goodness for a comfy couch. Yeah, so all we did on Friday night was go to dinner then hang out around my house. I told her I had been thinking about re-doing my room and she got SO excited. She's very crafty like that. So, she got a plan together. It only took her HOURS. So, the next morning we came up with a gameplan and spent the morning (i.e. from noon till 2) walking around old town, then we dropped the dog off at my place (she was pooped, so she took a nap) then went to home depot, target, and walmart. We ate out at Noodles for lunch and came back to my house and starting the remodel. Lets just say my room looks very different now.
Once we finished moving everything around, we ate dinner at
the chart house. Its a hoity toity restaurant down on waterfront. Expensive, but good. She's all about the good food and doesn't consider it expensive unless its $50/plate. Yeah, we didn't do anything that expensive, but it was still expensive to me. Yesterday I didn't go to church because she was still around and I know better than to ask her to come to church with me. Yeah, so I was a heathen and we went out for Sunday brunch. She left shortly thereafter.
I was so paranoid that I wouldn't be able to get anything done this weekend because she was here, but in actuality, I got a TON more done than I would've ever done by myself. I often underestimate her. Also, I didn't mind the dog. It was actually nice having her around for company. I would mind having a small dog like that.... except for the whole picking up poop with your hands thing. Ew.
Oh, I bought season 1 of Grey's anatomy and watched the ENTIRE thing yesterday. I also read a conference talk, and watched a christian movie so I got some churchy stuff in. Yeah, so this season's Grey's Anatomy was SO much better than last season. I mean, last season was good, but this season.... WOWSERS!
Note: The pigeon is still alive and kicking and still annoying the crud outta me. Stupid flying rodent.
I'm not obsessed... HONEST!
I was so excited this morning when my friend sent me this:
Yes, I believe they should be able to have their privacy, but I love babies. And these are the sweetest pictures EVER!
A picture like this just makes me want one! (The man and the baby):
So, after looking at this gorgeous family (without a wedding ring, but still a family), my uterus aches. Yes, I want a hubby and children (preferably in that order). I'm not obsessed with the whole "Brangelina" thing, I just couldn't help myself. What a beautiful family!
SO, moving on. I was too much of a wimp to get rid of the flying rat by myself, so I decided to call the United Wildlife of Virginia and have them deal with it. That's right. That pigeon better pack its bags because its on its way OUT! (evil cackle) Your days are numbered!
Just another day... with a pigeon
So, I was talking with my dear
young friend Abbey and she TOTALLY invited me to go with her to MEXICO! She said probably at the end of July. I need a passport. Eek! That would be a great vacation. Although I don't like the idea of having to hang out in a bathing suit with Abbey. She's a cute small girl. That's not me. Yeah, so her family has a house down in Mexico so it means lodging would be FREE! Great
cheap vacation. That's what I'm all about.
Oh, so I went to the gym yesterday and my trainer told me to think of him as a father figure.... then he switched and said, no, more of an older brother (he's older than my mother so he could definitely be old enough to be my father... but I wasn't going to tell him that, it might hurt his feelings and then he'd torture me.) Yeah, so then he told me how I was strikingly beautiful, and that when I finished losing weight how I'd "stop traffic"... weird if you ask me. But, hey, I always need a compliment so I gave him a weird look and said thanks.
My trainer is an absolute nut job. He's such a goofball, totally awkward... all the time. He's just weird like that. I'm thinking he might've done too many drugs in the 70's and 80's... so his brain is fried. Maybe that's it. Or maybe its from all the tanning. He has a severe tanning addiction. He lays out all the time and goes to the tanning bed and uses self tanner. Yeah, I told him he was a little OCD about the tanning. He tortured me later for saying that.
Oh, something happened! My BFF Jessica from my hometown is coming up this weekend! YAY! She's never been to visit me in DC. So, this is where the dilemia begins. What am I supposed to do with her ALL weekend? Oh, to make things more difficult... she's bringing her dog. Yeah, she has a little yappy dog that goes with her everywhere. Annoying? Usually. Yeah, so I need to find restaurants that are dog friendly and I need to figure out stuff to do with her on Saturday. Friday is easy, we'll just go out to dinner. Yeah, so my mind goes blank for any Saturday activities. She did say we could leave the dog for as long as 7 hours. So maybe downtown isn't out of the question. I might decide to be a heathen and do Sunday brunch with her. I've always wanted to do Sunday brunch, and she's a good excuse. She'll probably leave around 10 or so on Sunday morning since she knows I'm going to church (although she's pressuring me to skip).
Oh, so a few days ago I was raking/sweeping off my porch and patio. I was tidying up at the end and went to put a paintbrush on a shelf on my covered patio and something flew out at me! I SCREAMED, ducked, and ran like a lunatic out of my yard. I had assumed it was a bat or something, but it turns out it was a pigeon. Yes, a flying city rat.
Well, it scared the crud outta me. So, as I was leaving this morning, I saw it there again. Turns out that stupid pigeon has made a nest in the box with all the painting supplies. What am I supposed to do?! Do I throw out the nest? I don't know if there are any eggs in it (I wouldn't think so... its not spring anymore.) I'm just terrified the bird with peck me... no, I'm more retarded than that. I'm afraid the bird will touch me in some way. I'm a freak like that. I don't like interacting with wild flying rodents. EW! Yes, birds kinda gross me out. And for good
reason.
My rant on unequality in pay
I have usually worked in predominantly male fields.
In high school, I worked as a basketball supervisor where I was paid less than my male counterparts (I got paid $7/hr, whereas they got paid $8.50... a HUGE difference when you're 16), and then I worked summers while in college as a professional mover. Did you hear that? Yeah, I was a mover. I found myself discriminatedagainst frequently, and despite my abilities, I was constantly undercut. I would give 110%, and the guys could give 50%, and they would get more money. Yes, I realize that guys can lift more than I can, but its amazing what someone can do with a dolly these days.
Now, I work with the navy where I am one of 4 women in an office of 44 men. Although I have a college degree, I have watched 2 men be promoted above me that do not have a college degree. One of them didn't even graduate from high school. And, yes, I am the lowestpaid employee in my office. I know because I'm in charge of those records.
To move on, I took various courses during my college studies that
focused on women's role in society. Unfortunately, the unequalityof our payscales is not something up for debate. Its a fact. And it goes back as far as the ages.
See Leviticus 27:1-4.
I've heard many men complain that women are given special treatment. I think that's ridiculous. I've never asked for any of my employers to go out of their way for me. Actually, when I moved up to the DC area I applied for a job as a mover since I already had experience, I figured it would be a breeze. Boy, was I wrong. Two places I applied to wouldn't even consider me since I'm a woman. Yes, I probably could've sued them or something, but instead I gave up and joined the ranks of waitressing.
I did a quick search on average pay scales for women vs. men and this is what I found:
Position/Industry Female /Male
Accountants $85,375 /$119,314
Accountants (1-5 years experience) $72,534 /$94,314
Advertising Account Executive $49,000/ $56,000
Allergists or Immunologists $190,983/ $254,289
CEO, Health Care $152,673/ $195,783
Lawyer $73,476 /$84,188
Government/Lobbying, Nonprofit $73,907 /$96,655
Managing Editor $55,983 /$62,574
Neurological Surgeons $337,031/ $487,000
Reference Librarian,
0-5 years experience $38,399 /$39,958
Retail Store Sales $19,864 / $31,148
Teachers $42,848 /$46,956
Web infrastructure $69,850 /$87,750
Average Full Time Employee $97,071 /$127,379
Note. Salaries vary by industry and include medians,
total compensation, average base, average total including salary and bonus. http://www.womenof.com/Articles/cb_12_7_052.asp
See, its not just me. Its everyone. Oh well.
Virginian, I am
Yep, my home state did this:
http://www.nbc4.com/education/9321789/detail.htmlPoor kid.
Because I'm an idiot
I went over to a friend's house tonight and managed to make an utter fool of myself. Why is it when I find a guy remotely attractive I act like moron around him? I hate that. That about sums up the night. Oh, that and a 43-year-old divorcee totally hit on me. Yep. My life officially sucks.
What I hate
As I was sitting at work this morning, I came to realize the small annoyances in my life that love to add stress to my day. We all have them, I'm sure of it. But as I sat staring at another screwed up excel spreadsheet, these annoyances almost drove me to my breaking point. So, here I am, relieving my small annoyances.
- I hate that my supervisor knows absolutely nothing about Microsoft Excel or Word. He attempts to do things on his own, only to call me and have me redo it all.
- I hate that when this happens he waits to call me until one minute before I'm supposed to leave for the day.
- I hated how short my hair was after my last haircut so I haven't gotten it cut since.
- I hate that I can never trust hairdressers. Its like they've never seen curly hair before!
- I hate that time when my highlights have grown out and I can totally see the line of the growthage (is that a word?). I also hate this on other people, especially people with straight hair, thus making it that much more obvious.
- I hate Stupid Dan that stops by my desk everyday and can't seem to take a hint to shut up and go away. I never should've gone out with him that one time. Okay, twice. But the first time it was a White Stripes concert (10th row!) and the second time it was restaurant week in DC. Who am I to turn down a good normally expensive but temporarily cheap meal?
- I hate that I can't get a date with a guy in his 20's. The 30+ men love me. As do the black guys.
- I hate the way I look in a bathing suit. It doesn't matter how much you pay for the bathing suit just because it says miracle on the tag, don't expect one. It doesn't shrink your thighs overnight. Unfortunately.
- I hate when people take pictures of me in my bathing suit, with bad hair and no makeup. That's just cruel. Can you say "blackmail material"?
- I hate the way I walk in 4 1/2 inch heels. I can't walk nearly as gracefully as I can in 3 1/2 inchers.
- I hate that even when a date doesn't go that well, the guy still doesn't call. Jerk!
- I hate that everything that tastes so good is SO BAD for you.
- I hate my job.
- I hate my boss.
- I hate all but 3 people I work with.
- I hate living in a basement where I get no natural light at all... but I do love having my own bathroom.
- I hate that the most adorable (but uncomfortable) shoes are the most expensive.
- I hate that target clothes fall apart after 3 washes.
- I hate that I wear sunblock so I don't get burned, but in the process, it also prevents me from getting any kind of tan.
- I hate that I'm supposed to just accept that all guys check out other girls despite the fact they're in a perfectly loving relationship with a beautiful girl. I think that's crap.
- I hate that I love Lindsay Lohan. I just can't help it.
- I hate The Turkey Man (the vendor who sells food across the street from my office... ugh). Pass the Pepto.
- I hate that I don't make more money. Budgeting isn't one of my strong points.
- I hate that Grey's Anatomy killed off Denny. Yes, I'm still bitter.
- I hate that all the good shows just take the summer off. I mean, they give us a great season finale and then nothing. What are we supposed to do all summer?!
- I hate that I don't have a window in my office. Its just unnatural.
- I hate that when I take the escalator up or down from the metro my hands are always covered with a mysterious black goo that doesn't come off with the antibacterial hand wash I keep in my purse. What is that crap anyways?
- I hate it when guys flirt with me and then don't ask me out. I don't like to waste my good flirting on a dead end.
- I hate church dances. They're always lame. And the guys are stupid. I've found its just better for my self esteem if I don't get asked to dance at all. Why, you may ask? Because if a big dork asks me to dance then I'm thinking, "is this really the best I can get?" When a good looking guy asks me to dance I'm thinking, "I hate it when a guy pity-dances with me." On the off chance that a normal guy asks me to dance (its happened once in 6 years), he never asks for my number and I never see him again. So, in the end I'd rather not dance at all. I feel better about myself that way. I know, I'm mental.
- I hate it when I lose service on my cell phone for any reason. I pay them so I can make a call anywhere. Can you hear me now? NO!! Yeah, Verizon, kiss my butt!
Okay, I think I need to stop now. This could go on forever. I sound like quite the pessimist, don't I? I'm not. HONEST! It's just the end of a rough week... it feels good to get it off my chest.
My first kiss
I wasn't unpopular in junior high or high school. I dated a couple of boys, but I never could let them kiss me. I didn't understand why, I just didn't let it happen. Many had tried, but all had failed. I had become quite the escape artist when it came to avoiding the dreaded kiss.
I was 15, I had started "hanging out" with a guy, Andy, that I had met at the Youth Conference over the summer. I use the term "hanging out" because I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, so he and I would get together in groups, thus we were never alone. We had been hanging out for a couple of weeks, and he suggested that we go to the local fair. I was up for it, so we met a group of friends there and did all the ghetto fair rides. It was getting late, but Andy insisted that we do the ferris wheel. I protested (I'm afraid of heights) but eventually gave in. So, it was just the two of us. The ferris wheel gets to the top.... and stops. Yes, it stopped.
I'm looking around frantically, convinced that something has gone wrong and we'll have to jump. At that moment, as we sat at the very top of the ferris wheel something miraculous happened.
Fireworks went off. Literally. It took my breath away. I sat there staring at the fireworks, knowing that no one had a better view. I looked over at Andy, he took my hand.... he leaned in.... and I gave him the shaft. Yeah, it would've been a perfect moment in time, but I shafted him. To this day, I'm still not sure why I did that. Needless to say, we "broke up" a few weeks later. We were together 3 months and that poor boy never got any lip action out of me. My Virgin Lips remained intact.
Okay, here's the honest to goodness story. While I was in college, I worked the summers as a camp counselor with a camp that was run by my church educational system called Especially for Youth. The counselors were single young adults between the ages of 19-26. Each week every girl counselor was assigned a guy counselor to be in a partnership. Together we were expected to care for 18-25 kids between the ages of 14 and 18. I was working at a camp based in SW Virginia, I had been working a couple of weeks and had already gotten to know most of the counselors. Every, we would each chose a C.O.W. (Crush of-the Week), usually another counselor or someone working at the campus. Well, I had developed two C.O.W.s, so I was keeping my fingers crossed that I would be paired up with one of them. And I was.
His name was Craig. He was shy and sweet, but after a week with me, he became loud and outgoing. He and I just fit. The way we taught and interacted complimented each other. It was amazing. The other counselors referred to us as the "perfect couple." Whenever we could steal a moment away from the kids, we would. We just walked around the campus, talked, held hands. I was in heaven. But it all came to a sudden stop at the end of the week because he was transferred to a camp in Kentucky and I was to remain there. I met his parents, we exchanged addresses and phone numbers and that was it.
He lived in New Jersey and went to school in Utah, and I was going to school in Virginia. It was doomed from the beginning. But we made it work. We talked on the phone every week. Emailed. We agreed to date other people since we obviously couldn't be together. I didn't date. He did. He got himself a girlfriend, but continued to call me regularly. When they broke up, I was the first person he called. He suggested we get together when he came home for the holidays. So we set it up. New Years in New York.
I drove up to New Jersey and stayed with his parents, we went on our first "official" date, where he took me to a movie, and to see the Jersey shore. He even bought me a Jersey hot dog. I was in my giddy mood, so I took my shoes off and ran down the beach. Yes, he thought I was crazy. When we went back to his house that night, I helped him elaborately wrap a Christmas present for his brother. Our time together was a bit stiff, we didn't even touch.
The next morning, we hopped on the train for NYC. As we ran up the stairs from the station into the city, a bum on the street said, "You all look like something straight from a movie." My heart skipped a beat. I felt certain he meant a romantic comedy, in which we'd live happily ever after. As the day progressed, he took my hand, we cuddled in Central Park. We saw all the sights and around 5 we went to Times Square to begin the long wait for the big countdown. We stood with strangers and laughed and had a great time. We took pictures and called all our friends to rub in their faces that we were in Times Square. We stood for hours and had to lean against each other for strength. I wore his sweatshirt. I thought this was it.
After hours of waiting, the final countdown began. As soon as the ball dropped, tons of confetti was dropped over the crowd like a blanket. He turned to me, and said, "Well, don't I get a kiss?" My heart jumped into my throat as I got on my tip toes and kissed him. Just a peck. But it was all I had ever imagined a first kiss could be. Fireworks went off inside of me. As I pulled back, this is what I saw:
I didn't realize until later that he had been shocked by my prudence. Then he grabbed my hand and we ran 20 blocks to the train station.
I had my perfect moment in time. It was all I could've ever hoped for. I don't regret a moment of it. I didn't lose my VL until I was 21, and I'm so glad that I waited for my perfect moment.
