Sunday, March 11, 2007

Online Dating and you (okay, not you, me)

I think I've mentioned before that I've joined the pathetic ranks of online daters. Something I'm not proud of, but its too late now. The past 4 months have been filled with frustration as 50-year-old divorcees message me, and all the twenty-somethings are only interested in my butt and my boobs. If I ever read the phrase "what are you wearing?" again, I'll ..... do something bad. Not sure yet, I'll wait and see what happens.

So, yeah. I've had guys all over the globe contact me too. I'm very popular with guys in the Middle East. Pakistan especially. No Europeans though. Bunch of snobs.

So, then it happens. My membership comes up for renewal. What do I do?

4 months. Of tears and frustration. Of violation and rejection. And then it happened.

Someone normal contacted me.

I mean, I hope he's normal. We've exchanged emails, text messages, phone calls, and yes, we've even gone out a few times. Did I mention he's even local? Why do I tell you this? Because after over 8 years in the dating world (3 of which I spent in a drought)

I'M REALLY DATING!!!

Craziness, I know.

Yes, and it gets better. Ever heard the phrase, "when it rains it pours?"

Very true.

All of a sudden, guys are coming out of the woodwork. And not all guys online, they're everywhere! What have I done? I have no idea, but its like I've opened the pandora's box of dating.

I actually managed to go on not one, not two, but THREE (count 'em!) dates in the past 24 hours! What kinda girl does that?!

I'm happy to report.... ME!!

Before you get totally jealous, each guy has their own flaws. But they have proved to have excellent taste in that they are pursuing me.

To be totally honest, the online guy is the forerunner of the bunch. He's one of those great-on-paper guys. Tall (6'4), smart, college grad, working on his masters, return missionary (yes, he's mormon), and is so funny! When I talk with him, the time just flies by. But yes, he has flaws. Don't all guys?

The guy I went out with last night... not a keeper. It was a blind date and I doubt I'll ever see him again (and I'm not upset about that). But whatever.

Then there's ..... okay, let me pre-empt this by saying, you aren't allowed to judge me, okay?...... 35-guy. Yes, he's still around. (Remember, you promised not to judge me!) Did I mention that I'm not so much interested in him as he's interested in me. And he pays for dinner.... And he's an overall good guy that didn't check out a single girl the whole night we were out tonight.....And he was on me like white on rice tonight! Yeah, he digs me. No doubt. Don't look at me that way! I didn't put out!

Unfortunately, 35-guy is giving me the attention I want desperately from my forerunner, 6'4 guy. He's a slow mover. Or he's gay. Take your pick.

Oh, and I didn't cancel my online dating account. I thought about it, and then I caved. Yes, I'm still pathetic.

I guess in the end, what I'm trying to say is this: Online dating can get you a date. With a guy that feels as equally pathetic as you.