Single in Stilettos

How long does it take to become skinny? I think this working out thing is a crock! I've been working out almost everyday since January, and what do I have to show for it?! Well, I've lost almost 15 pounds, but 15 pounds in 5 months isn't impressive. Some people can lose that amount in a month.

My body hates me.

That's the only explainable explanation. My body just hates me and refuses to give up my lard butt. I don't think that's fair. Some 300 pound woman can just start taking a walk everyday and the next thing you know, she's a size 2! I don't see that happening to me. Ever. Ever...ever...ever!

For so long, I've tried to keep my family away from my friends. My friends have never met a member of my family and I'd kinda like to keep it that way. I'd rather they think I'm the skinny one in a family of whales, then the fat one in a family of popcicle sticks. This way, they think I'm the skinny one, fighting the odds, when in reality, I'm the fat one. I hate that.

Most of my friends tell me I'm "fabulous"... but I don't feel that way normally. I dress well, I'm outgoing, I try to hold myself with confidence. I guess to some people that translates to fabulousness. But in reality, I have a low self esteem. I dislike a lot about myself. I laugh too loud, I talk too much, I'm too nice, I always say the wrong thing, I can rarely keep a secret as hard as I try, I have a bad temper, I suck at budgeting, my skin is horrible, ... oh and I hate my job. So much. But despite all these things, people perceive me as being very confident. And I'm cool with that.

I got a call for a job interview. Problem: the place is like an hour away from my house without traffic. Ugh. We'll see. I'm going to ask about pay before I even consider that kind of drive daily.

posted by Me @ 1:31 PM