Monday, July 31, 2006

My Lucky Dress

For my birthday, my mom and my sister took me out shopping. I arrived at the designated store only to find a dressing room stocked full of clothes ready for me to try on. I tried on pants, skirts, blouses, tanks, capris, jackets... and one dress.

Now, I should let you know. I'm not a dress kinda girl. I've been wearing skirts and blouses for years now... I've been anti-dresses.

But this dress was different.

I scoffed at the dress, assured my sister and my mom that I didn't wear dresses. To make them happy I slipped on the dress.

As I stood alone in the dressing room, I looked in the mirror. Was it just me or did I look abso-friggin-lutely hott? I twirled in the dress a few times, always returning to the mirror. Something must not be right... I don't look good in dresses. Oh, but I looked good in this one.

My mom and sister entered the room, I wiped that smile off my face... I couldn't have them thinking they've changed the entire way I shop! I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. So, with a straight face, I asked them how it looked, to which they replied, "You have to get that!"

I wasn't so keen on buying a dress, so my mother bought it for me.

Well, I finally wore the dress yesterday to church despite the fact that I had no decent shoes to wear with it. It was light and airy... and I felt very feminine. Throughout the day I got more compliments than I have on any other outfit... which is saying a lot for me. I'm head of fashion when it comes to my social circles.

But there's more... not only do I look good in the dress, but it also contains magical powers.

As I was leaving church yesterday, I passed PG in the hall. (PG is the guy that I had a huge crush on 2 years ago. My whore of a roommate told him, he talked to me once after that and ended the conversation with a wink. Yeah, I could've died. Well, since that conversation 2 years ago, we haven't spoken. He's a good looking guy but he obviously has been avoiding me or something.) So, yesterday after not speaking to this guy for almost 2 years... he stops me in the hall! I was in no way prepared for this so I remained tongue tied for our entire encounter, which lasted maybe 5-10 minutes. But he spoke to me!

How lame am I?

Yes, so the dress will forever be known as my lucky dress... not because I got lucky in it (because, remember, I'm celibate), but because people that normally didn't take notice of me, noticed me.

Can I tell you how great my boobs looked in that dress? I wish I could wear it everyday... like that girl that Seinfeld dated.

Would that be weird?

Thursday, July 27, 2006

My day of boredom

Here it is... not even 9am... and I'm bored.

Although, I've already done more today then I did all day yesterday.

Hm... lets see.

I fixed the "impossible" (men are so retarded sometimes) paperjam in the copy machine. Yes, just me and my handy self. I read a fax from my brother (did I tell you he has a fax machine now?)... lucky missionary. I made some copies, sent out a few reports, filed the reports, and sent a few emails to my boss and Accounting.

Wow, my job is so exciting.

Compared to yesterday, I'm a workhorse.

Oh, my trainer measured me on Tuesday. I've lost almost 12 inches... about 3 from my boobs (no wonder my bras were too big), and 4 off my waist. Here's the sad part... all this work and my hips only went down like 3/4ths of an inch. Yeah, my bottom half is stubborn, but my top half is willing! I would hate to be one of those girls that's like a 12 on the bottom and a size 2 on top.

Why am I sitting here eating dried apricots when I know how gassy I was yesterday? Yep, I've eaten like 5 today so far. Oh, and beef jerky. And a yogurt. I'm thinking about eating a granola bar.

But I'm waiting.

And waiting.

Still waiting.

This is me waiting.

I can make it.*

Guess what? I actually got to work at 7! How astonished are you?! Do you know what this means?! It means I won't have to work until 4 tomorrow! I'll be able to leave at like 3:30... unless I get in at 7 tomorrow (which is highly unlikely), in which case I'd get to leave at..... drumroll..... 3!!! YAY!

The highlight of my day everyday is leaving work. Its when my day begins.

So, yesterday after work, I did the gym as usual. My aunt called and wanted to go out to dinner, so we (my aunt, 2 cousins, and I) went out for Vietnamese. Yeah, I've decided I prefer Thai. It was heavy food. I'm not into that. Okay, so then we went to the cutest little grocery store... Its called Mom's Market. She bought me a Luna bar for me to eat today (maybe I'll eat that instead of the granola bar... ). Yeah, so then I had to run because my friend H was picking me up to go to a movie. She's a doll! And I love her!

Yeah, so we went and saw Cars. It was cute! She and I laughed, and we both admitted to getting a little teary eyed... even if they are just cars.

When I got home, I ate the last of the cookies (man, they were good... you missed out!) and watched Project Runway.

Haha... my moron supervisor was just here. I gave him a BRIGHT RED folder that said, "signature needed" on it.... he lost it.

I mean, that just ticks me off. Now he's getting after me to re-generate the materials that were in the folder. Um... them me see. I think they were original invoices along with invoice coding sheets. I can't just make up invoices... also, I can't fill out new invoice coding sheets without an invoice!! UGH! He better not make this out to be my fault.

This so isn't in my job description. Shoot.me.now.

Its Thursday which means its Chipotle night! How excited am I?! Also, how good have I been since I've only been going to Chipotle once a week? Yeah, go ahead and say it. My willpower is astounding. Its like a tornado raging through a trailer park.


*Approximately 5.3 seconds after finishing this, I ate the luna bar. That's what I call self control.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My quarter life crisis

Yeah, I have no idea what those things on the board say, but that's how I feel... except put the stuff on the board in english.
Have you heard of this? I hadn't until recently when I found a book sitting on my coffee table that really got me thinking. No, I can't remember the name of it. And if my roommate knew that I started reading it, she'd probably be a little embarrassed.

I always imagined myself to be happy working. I'd have the ideal job, I'd do good in the world, make a difference everyday. As it turns out, its not that easy. Those "fell good" jobs sound good in theory, but the pay is crap.

Then you have my job...

The pay... is decent. The work... is tedious. Do I feel like I'm helping improve the world? Um... no.

So, as of recently I've been contemplating a career change. But to what? That's the problem. When I first started college, my friends coveted the assurance I had in my major. Most of them were undecided, yet I forged ahead, excited and determined. Until my junior year. Then it all came crashing down. I realized I wanted to make money and help people. That kinda threw teaching out the window. Okay, so. Fine.

At this point I decided to switch my major to nursing. I did that for a year, then I decided to double major because I couldn't do without my music. Then it came.

Burnout.

I'd been in college for four years already and I hadn't graduated. I watched many of my friends graduate and go into the real world. I envied them. That's when I decided I had to get out. Now. So, I did the math and figured out what would get me out of school the fastest. So, I graduated with a B.A. in Music. I'm one class shy of being accepted into nursing school... microbiology... ugh.

So, here's the problem now. I feel like I'm in a deadend job. I have no interest in government. I try, honest... I do! But I've never been much of a politician. So the dilemma continues.

When I was home over 4th of July, my entire family (we're talking extended family... like 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cousins) were disappointed to hear I wasn't a teacher. I've always interacted well with kids, and I enjoy being around them. Just not all the time. Although, the more I work, the more "summers off" sounds great to me... maybe worth the paycut.

Yeah, so my family votes for teaching.

Well, not my entire family. My grandfather is a doctor and was excited when I was planning on going into nursing. He still votes for nursing... plus, the pay is better. Nursing is something I could see myself being good at. I like helping people, and I've actually developed a much stronger stomach that I had in high school. Well, my grandfather is the one that paid for my college to begin with, so his opinion weighs heavier than most people's.

Okay, so that's a vote for nursing.

The job I currently have, yes, its in government but it also requires a lot of business sense. I'm constantly putting events together for work or church. I'm organized and HUGE into planning. I've thought about going back to school and getting my MBA. My friends are constantly telling me how business minded I am... plus, business pays.

Yeah, so my friends vote for business.

Then, just last week I was talking to my friend Andrea and she mentioned that she thought I'd make a great lawyer. Could I hack it? Back in junior high I wanted to be a lawyer for battered women. Is it sad that I still think sometimes that I want to be a divorce attorney? Maybe it comes from watching my mom go through divorce, after divorce, after divorce. But law school? Scary much? The pay would be good (unless I did the battered women thing... that'd be nonprofit and the pay would be crap). But I'd have a whole lot of schooling to do.

Hm... could I do law as well?

Yeah, so I've thought and thought over the last few months trying to figure out what to do with my life. I can:

  1. Continue in my current career field and continue advancing... but be miserable.
  2. Get out of this job, look for a new one in event planning. I'm good at that stuff and maybe I wouldn't have to go back to school to do it... although, I won't do weddings. Ugh.
  3. Go back to school and get my MBA in Health Administration, so instead of being a nurse, I'd be a CEO in a hospital or something to that degree.
  4. Go back to school and get an MBA in Arts Management and do like my friend Shana did. Get a job at a university doing fund raising for the arts.
  5. Go back to school and get certified as a teacher. Then I could teach. Feel like I'm making a difference in the world. Plus... summers off. That almost makes the paycut sound worth it.
  6. Finish the one course I need to get into nursing school. Get accepted to an accelerated 1 year program for nursing. Ta da! I could be a nurse in as little as a year and a half. But I'd have to quit my job to go back to school... that kind of school is full time.
  7. Apply to law schools. Yes, I'd have to take the LSATs, and I doubt I'd be able to bend-and-snap my way through that one. Plus, I'm not blonde. Yeah, but I'm smart and witty. I could see myself kicking some major butt in a court room. However, I can't see myself going back to school like that. But its an option nonetheless.

Yeah, so that's my list of options. I've been weighing each of them for awhile now. However, I'm not any closer to figuring out what to do with my life than I was a few months ago.

Yeah, all this makes me think I'm ready, I could do it. I could meet a guy, get married, have babies, and just stay home for the rest of my life. This corporate world sucks. So, if you find an old fashion down to earth kinda guy that's tall, nice, and not totally unfortunate looking... send him my way.*

*Disclaimer: This is not an equal opportunity for all. I reserve the right to reject any persons based on age, incompatibility, lack of person hygiene, or anything else I can find wrong with him.

But I'll do my best to give him a shot.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Breath in.... breath out....

Yeah, I'm really busy today since one of my coworkers is out. It sucks. Maybe I'm just in a crabby mood.

People are coming to me about the stupidist things. I argued with a guy this morning over a correction I made to his expense report yesterday. The report is correct now but I originally corrected that he was off 1 cent on a phone call he made. He came to me today and insisted that I had corrected mileage. I insisted that I didn't (I KNOW I didn't... mileage is calculated automatically, I wouldn't correct mileage.... stupid a**). The man is a moron.

Yeah, and then first thing this morning my boss asked me to have the door fixed. There's nothing wrong with the friggin' door!! He wants to make sure it shuts everytime someone just drops the door and doesn't look back to ensure that it closes. I told him that I had discussed this with maintenance, and they said if we did anything to help it to close easier, it would end up slamming and perhaps doing what it did last time (swing past the doorjam and send wood flying everywhere). I have a sign on the door asking people to make sure the door closes behind them but I refuse to hold their hand through all this.

Did I mention I hate my job?

Oh, and then someone mentioned that I should make note of when people are in the office or out at the navy yard or home for the day or out to lunch or on travel or just in the bathroom. Morons. All of them. I better get promoted and soon or I.am.going.to.lose.my.mind!!!%#$!!!$#@!!!!!!

Why can't everyone be smart like me? Why must my job be stupid meaningless tasks that no one appreciates? I so want to quit my job and just stay home forever. This whole "self reliant" thing sucks.

Why, yes... I am on my period. How'd you guess?

I didn't do anything of interest last night. I did laundry. Oh and then I argued with my loud roomie K and S about the AC. I swear they're trying to freeze me out. I was very annoyed with K last night. I wanted to slap her a few times. I would ask a question and she'd start talking real slow, with a condesending tone. Maybe that was all in my head, but she was honestly treating me like I was an idiot. I'm beginning to hate her. Not to mention her friends came over last night and were insanely loud.

Okay, I'm sure you get it by now. I'm PMS (P- for present).

Oh, wanna hear something weird? I mentioned to a co-worker that my birthday was at the end of June (some people in the office did stuff for my coworker's birthday, but nothing for mine... I'm not bitter!), he's a weird guy, but really nice and has nothing but the best of intentions. He brought me a birthday gift today. hehe. Its a bottle of CoverGirl foundation. hehe. I wonder the thought process that went into that? I'm not sure its the right color, but its pretty close! hehe. I just think its funny. Maybe its his wife's... who knows?!

I'm actually feeling in a better mood now. I guess all this venting has helped! Thanks for the listening ear (or reading eye... whatever)... now if Aunt Flow were to just leave me be, I'd be fine! I feel like a hard workout would do me some good right now. I'd love nothing more than to just be at the gym all day today. That'd be a great job. Well, it would be if I like to exercise, which I don't. But at least I'd be skinny and able to whoop anyone's butt! YEEHAW!

Yeah, now I'm just being weird. I better get back to work before I get caught.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya! Tomorrow!

Spinning classes suck. I took one years ago, I found it excruciating, plus, my va-jay-jay was numb for like a week! Yeah, so my aunt C took one yesterday... my first reaction to her walk......"HAHAHA..... I'm sorry!! I shouldn't laugh! But I could've told you to never go to a spinning class. Those bikes aren't make for people with va-jay-jays!"

Hey, I have empathy... I'm good like that!

Lots of drama on the homefront... which I've burdened plenty of friends... and strangers... with. Well, K (my older sis) has asked me to go down to visit her hubby while she's gone to keep him company tomorrow, which I'm only too happy to do.

But then she called me last night and she wasn't so sure about it. She's flying in with the mother-in-law on Sunday afternoon/evening... she hasn't given me all the logistics. So, last night she asked a favor of me. She wants me to pick up her brother-in-law's grandmother's extra car in b.f.e. somewhere (she figured I could take the metro), then drive it to b.f.e. airport and pick them up, then she figured they could drop me off. I told her that I'd be willing to try, but 1) the metro doesn't go to b.f.e., but I guess I could try to figure out bus schedules and then figure on a lot of walking, 2) if she's going to drop me off, that would mean she'd have to double back and that sounds like a lot of time wasted, and 3) why not just rent a car?

Well, then she said the other option was that I pick them up at the airport, drive them to.... oh, their home (ONLY 2 1/2 hours away!) and then just drive straight back to DC. I said that was a little much... to which she said I was selfish.

Isn't it funny that people call you selfish when you don't do something they want?

Wasn't it just 24 hours ago that my sister was going to stay in California for the full 10 days of her vacation from.... oh, wait... that's right, she's not working!!!...., and have my mom and I take care of her hubby while she played in Sunny California with her in-laws, you know.... her hubby's family... as in, his mother and father.... while we nurse her hubby's (the in-law's son's) private parts?!

I think it sounds a little wacko to me.

But sure. Yeah, I'M SELFISH!!!

Sorry, that's my vent. So I don't know whether or not I'm supposed to drive down to keep my brother-in-law, R, company tonight. My life rocks!!

Isn't it funny how when you're single, family expect you to drop everything (not that you could possibly have a life of your own) and come to their aid? I love my family, but why am I the one that's always expected to sacrifice my time? Like when my mom was really sick, pregnant with my baby brother, she begged K and I to come and help. You would think K would be willing to come in and help (especially since she's 2 hours closer than me), but NO, I ended up driving home almost every weekend. K has a track record of not stepping up to the plate in times of need. I'm sick of picking up the slack. She's the oldest. She take the responsibilities that come with that, instead she just gets all the perks... you know, the bossiness, she's "older," we "have" to listen to her. And all that other crap.

Okay, now I'm just venting way too much.

Last thing, I promise!

I talked to my trainer, Mulletman, yesterday when he was with a client, and he introduced me to her. She looked at me with big eyes, and said, "You're Sarah*? THE Sarah*?"

I guess Mulletman's been bragging on my cardio again. When I talked with her I found out that she's one of his clients that works out like 30 minutes, maybe 2 or 3 times a week. I work out an hour, 5-6 days a week. And I hate every minute of it. I wonder if that will ever change? Hopefully..... someday. I feel like I need to break out into a rendition of TOMORROW. If only my life were a musical.

*I'll never use my real name... I'm terrified that someone that knows me will trip upon this blog and forever judge me. I'm judgemental, so I know others are too!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

He returns... dangit!

My first love. Oh, how I loved him. I was 21 and I just adored him. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first love.

We broke up after about 8 months, but we have remained friends throughout the years. Last time I heard from him was a few days before his wedding over a year ago. He just called because he was in NYC and he was reminded that the last time he was there, he was with me. My heart skipped a beat. I knew my chance with him had passed. He got married and I hadn't heard from him since.

Until yesterday.

I got the following email (he sent it to 5 other people besides me):

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to let you all know that I have accepted a job at ************High School in ********, Virginia. It's about ** miles from Washington DC. I will be teaching 6 periods of TV Productions 1 and 2. It seems like this will be a very good school to work for. They flew me out there and put me up in a hotel for my interview, and they offered to start me at step 5 of their pay scale. (I'm just hoping the generosity continues.)

*Wife and I are very excited. We will be moving at the end of July. (With luck, wife* will have finished everything for her Master's degree in Humanities by then.)

Here is our new address:

WAY TO CLOSE TO ME, VA
(no phone number yet)

We expect to be at this apartment for at least a year and possibly more.

Thank you all for all you've done for me. Our time at BYU has been great, and it will be strange to leave, but we are very excited to be starting a new adventure in Virginia. Our baby boy will be coming the end of September, so of course we are very excited about that, too. Hope all is well with everyone.

C

I guess I should be flattered that he still thinks of me. But it hurts at the same time. Its not easy to watch him continue on with his life without me, and actually be happy!


HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!?!

No one could possibly be happy without me in their life, right? Especially not him. I still remember our last conversation. He said he was excited to get married and he thanked me. He said I had forever changed him for the better and he'd never be where he was without me. He said I brought out the best in him and helped him become the man he should be. Then he put in the bitter comment, "Although I'll never be good enough for you."

It might not sound bitter to you, but I could hear in his tone of voice that this was not meant as a compliment.

Was I meant to be with him? Was it me that screwed it up? Sadly, these are the questions that have been running through my head for years.

Yes, I loved him. And perhaps I still do. But I do wish for him to be utterly happy. Even it is without me.

*name changed... obviously.


**UPDATE: My sister sent out an email this morning saying she's coming home. Her mother-in-law is coming as well. I'll be down with my brother-in-law all day Saturday and probably part of Sunday until my sister gets back in town. When I talked to him yesterday, he just said he didn't want to be alone right now, so I said I'd come down for a visit. I have a feeling the next week is going to be a l-o-n-g one.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The big "c"

So, yesterday we got some bad news. My brother-in-law has been having some pain in his private parts.... namely, his testicles. So, he went to the doctor on Monday and his tests came back yesterday.

Its cancer.

So, he's going in for surgery on Monday of next week. To make matters worse, my sister is visiting her in-laws... his family... in California! Just a question, if your husband was having one of his balls removed because of cancer, wouldn't you want to be there? I don't understand my sister. She's not planning on coming home early from her trip. They've never been separated for more than a couple days at a time since they got married 7 years ago and now, when her hubby needs her most, she's with his family!

I don't understand this!

I would be jumping on a plane asap....I realize he told her that he's fine, but I don't believe him. My mom is going to come up on Monday and take care of him until Wednesday, but what man would want his mother-in-law nursing his private parts? I'm really disappointed in my sis. I guess she and I just think differently.

ALSO, what is his family thinking?

If this was my brother, my mom would be out there in a heartbeat! Why isn't his family concerned? They know its cancer. I'm sorry, I hear the big "c" and it freaks me out. I just don't think my sister and my brother-in-law's family are taking this as seriously as they should. I think my sister and her hubby are in denial.

I have a friend I went to high school with that had testicular cancer when he was 20. He almost died, but made it through... he ended up coming out of it infertile though. Then, I was talking with a coworker today about it, only to learn that his son had died of testicular cancer in his teen years! So, I'm concerned and I just want to shake my sister. I have a feeling my brother-in-law's emotions are going to get the better of him at some point in the next week, and I think my sister needs to be there.

I talked to the 38-year old friend of mine (the one I talked about here) about that whole drama last night. I just didn't believe that my brother-in-law really wanted my sister to stay in California while this was going on, so I asked 38-guy when he called (he was talking to roommate, he didn't plan on talking to me... or rather, he never asked to talk to me. I just grabbed the phone). He agreed with me. His dad had testicular cancer a few years ago and his sister is dying of some kind of cancer right now, he says that my sister needs to get her butt back to VA quick. He says its going to hit My brother-in-law and my sister at some point of the severity of this situation. And when it does... watch out! I know my brother-in-law is putting up a front... he was talking to my mom yesterday and said he wasn't ready to die. He wanted to see his son grow up. I mean, if he's talking like that, there's some serious contemplation going on.

SO, if it was possible to reach through the phone and slap some sense into my sister, I would. But I don't feel as if I can do anything else but pray for them.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Rumblin in my Tumblin!

I'm starved. I don't know why. I feel like I could eat a horse, although I don't see myself ever eating horse. Would that be considered a delicacy? I can't eat deer either. For some reason, whenever I try to eat deer, I imagine a doe, with sad wide-eyes. *Sniff sniff* Poor Bambi!! But, oddly enough, I have no quams about eating duck... or lamb.... or rabbit. Those are all adorable creatures, but I have no problem chowing down on them. Yum.... lamb.

Last night my fabulous roommate took me out for a belated birthday dinner. It was FAB-U-LOUS! Everything was beyond yummy. Plus, our waiter was totally hilarious! He was just so intense. When he told us the specials he spoke with such passion and wonderful descriptions... wow! He was cute, very friendly, we thought he was hilarious, although I don't know if he was trying to be. Oh, when my fab roomie asked him if the Halibut was fresh, the conversation went something like this:

Fab roomie: Is the Halibut fresh?

Waiter: Well, most halibut that you get at restaurants is going to be at least 7 days old since that's the amount of time that it takes to get from Alaska to here. However, we have the halibut fedexed directly from the boat in Alaska to here. It arrived on Saturday. So, pretty much, its the freshest halibut you'll ever have outside of Alaska.

She got the halibut.

I went with the pork. Boy, was that wonderful! My friend A came with us and got the salmon, she adored it! Oh, and appetizer... we had bison bruschetta. Wowsers that's good! Yeah, its definitely an amazing place. Pricey, but awesome! Oh, and the desserts!! Yes, we got dessert! That's one of the things I love about pricey restaurants, they give you smaller portions so you can actually clean your plate and no feel stuffed! I mean, after eating an appetizer, bread, my entree, and dessert, I didn't feel stuffed. I felt satisfied. Plus, since I didn't have to pay for it, it tasted that much better. I love having a fabulous roommate!

Yeah, so I'm doing Chipotle tonight for dinner since my kitchen sink is out of commission. There's a leak under our kitchen sink. As long as we don't turn the water on, it doesn't leak. We called a plummer but he can't make it until Thursday or Friday. So, looks like I'm eating out for the rest of the week. What a shame... I LOVE IT! Too bad I don't have a lot of money. I'd eat at fabulously expensive restaurants all the time. But alas, Chipotle will do for me. Yum. Chipotle.

Yeah, well I better get back to looking like I'm working. Its what I do best!

Monday, July 10, 2006

My day with the telemarketer

Yeah, so I'm at work. As I always am. Day in and day out. But today a weird thing happened to me today.

I don't like telemarketers... but who does? I try to be nice because half the time they're just college kids trying to make enough money to pay tuition. I understand what its like to have a crappy job and it doesn't help when people are mean to you... so I always try to be nice to the telemarketers. But today was just TOO much.

So, I'm at work and the phone rings... its a telemarketer. I can tell. I'd hung up on them at least 2 times earlier because they didn't answer the phone fast enough. I don't think I should be the one that has to wait for them to answer... shouldn't it be the other way around? Anyway...

SO, I answer the phone and this girl begins talking, telling me about their service (a phone book directory type service), I'm kind, she mentions that we're needing to renew our membership, I said that really wasn't necessary, and she said it was. She was giving out company a discounted price of $399.99, in which I say I'm not authorized to make that kind of purchase, she comes back and says of course I am!

I am?

Does she know something I don't know?

And how did she get that kind of information?

My boss told me I wasn't.

But she insisted I was.

She verified my name (I lied), position (I lied again,) and work address (I didn't lie). I was getting a little peeved by this point, and so she says she needs to transfer me to some guy, so she transfers me but she's still on the line. I can hardly understand a word either of them are saying, but I know it doesn't matter because I'm sure (fairly sure at least.... 90% sure.... okay, more like 85% sure) we don't do service with them. Why would we need advertising space? Our only customer is the government, and something tells me that they don't just open up a phonebook when looking for a good digital periscope architect.

But I could be wrong, I guess.

I explain to them that this office isn't the office that would make that kind of purchase, that they should contact our corporate office, she disagreed. She said that we had set up the account with her last year (a lie... I'm pretty sure). I tried to explain to her that we're a branch, not the headquarters... she disagreed with me again. Yeah, so I'm very frustrated at this point, my phone is ringing off the hook and I'm missing incoming calls.... translation: not good. Okay, so I get sick of this, I just say, "I really have to go, I have a conference call. Thanks. Bye."

Only imagine I said it really fast.

And hung up.

I answered the phone ringing off the hook. After about 30 seconds... the telemarketer called back. But this time I was on to them... I just let it ring. Phyllis (there's a Phyllis in every office... don't you find that weird?), the other admin, answered. Which worked out well since when I lied earlier I had given her name and position. hehe.

So I wait a few minutes, and then I call her. She's still on the phone with the mean telemarketers. They're trying to tell her that she has the power to make this kind of purchase. She clicks over to me, and I'm laughing! I tell her I'm sorry that I did that to her! She wasn't mad. She thought it was funny that the meanest telemarketers in the world have been able to eat up so much of our time. She finally said she had to go after they transfered her to accounting and were telling her just what to say to them so that the purchase could be approved. That peeved her. She said they could mail her materials, but she really had to go.

They called back a few minutes later.

We didn't answer.

Gosh, I hate telemarketers.

Friday, July 07, 2006

And on Thanksgiving....

I've decided that I'm not very interesting. I went out to eat with my best gal pal, E, as we do every Thursday to the ever wonderful Chipotle, and I couldn't stop talking about my baby brother. I mean, he says the darn-dist things! I could feel myself talking too much, and I could tell she was losing interest... but I COULDN'T STOP! I knew she was bored and I just kept talking! What's wrong with me?!! Plus, I ordered the same old thing. Its just once you've found perfection, you stick with it. Am I right? (Burrito bowl, rice, black beans, fajita veggies, steak, fresh salsa, a little bit of sour cream, cheese, and lettuce.... took me months to perfect, so now I'm reaping the benefits!)

In the end, I finally let her talk some. Then we were fine.

I got an email from my friend Em yesterday. We went to college together. (This translates to: we pigged out together, cried together, pulled all-nighters together, dieted together, attempted to exercise together, watched stupid sappy movies together, and finally graduated together.) After college she moved to what is known as the Mormon Mecca.... UTAH. Yes, so I got an email stating the dreaded news: She's getting married. Ouch! Another one bites the dust!!

Funny thing about Em... she's always been hilariously amusing. Just not everyone noticed. After college she wanted to start with a clean slate, so she moved to Utah. Funny things happen in Utah that don't happen in DC. Like.... dating... marriage. That kind of stuff. The girl didn't go on a date her entire college experience, and she goes out to Utah, and BANG!! She's a dating queen! Not only that, she gets engaged less than a year after moving there.

I know what you're thinking....SHUT UP!!! I'M NOT JEALOUS!! I'm young! And vibrant! And.... and.... and.... and....busy!

So, she's getting married. I have yet to write back to her. Its not because I'm bitter... although I am. Its just because I'm busy. Right.... I'm. busy. It happens!

So, Em and I used to watch movies together that were hilarious. Sometimes they weren't supposed to be comedies, but we found them hilarious anyways.

One night, after a long week, and way too much sugar, we decided the funniest quote ever was the following from the movie The Other Sister (a very dramatic movie... or its supposed to be): "And on Thanksgiving.... we DID IT."

What made this worse is the voice we used when we said this quote. We imitated the characters and did it beautifully as we continued the quote by singing the first few lines of "76 trombones" from Music Man.

Ah... those were the days. I love you Em... even though you are ditching me for a boy. In that regard, you suck!! But I still love you!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The drama that is my life

You know what the worst part of vacation is? The day after you come back. I'm exhausted! My eyes are red, I have bruises all over my body, and I'm in a foul mood. That's what vacation does to me. Despite that, I had a good break. I'm being kind with that description. Perhaps too kind.

I arrived home on Thursday night to nothing but drama. My ex-stepfather had threatened my mother. No physical, but he said that her ex-husband, my father, was going to come out and pay a visit. (You may need some background here.... my father is. a. bad. man. Remember in school how they taught you not to talk to strangers and to go to the bathroom in groups when using public restrooms... yeah, my dad is one of those bad men. A bad man that got excommunicated from church and got convicted of doing bad things to a little girl. He didn't serve much jail time because he's fairly wealthy so he paid off dirty politicians. All-in-all, my dad is a bad man. A very bad man.)

Since my ex-stepfather threatened to expose my baby brother to this horrid man, our family took lots of precautionary measures. In the end, my baby brother was safe. The bad part of the story is that my dad ended up on our doorstep with an orchid for my sister and a very ugly, cheap ceramic cat for me. How do I always get the short end of the stick? I mean, he's got money... and lots of it! I mean, he could've at least attempted to tempt me to talk to him. The ceramic cat didn't do it for me. For a car, I'd say hello. But not for the cat. And why did my sister get anything? It was my birthday! I feel very jipped to this day (I've only had 5 days to get over it... maybe I'll get over it eventually).

So, with my horrid father in town, my sister and I came to express our memories of him. I told her the three I posted here, and she said that most of her memories were of him spoiling me. She reminded me that he would wake me up at midnight, take me downstairs, and we'd make malts and watch late night TV. It never ocurred to me that this was weird. My sister pointed it out. She asked if I thought it was weird at all that my father would wake up his 6 year old daughter in the middle of the night to have malts and watch TV? I'd never thought of it that way. I guess it was odd. I remember my mom being upset in the morning because the kitchen was a mess and I was asleep on the couch with my dad.

Okay, so back to my story of the weekend. He showed up at our front door after not seeing us or speaking to us for 14 years! Luckily my mom opened the door, I refused to see him, and then ran up to my room to call up my grandfather and freak out! My mom was overly nice to him which totally ticked me off. Why would you say "good to see you" to a convicted felon? A man that cheated on you, beat you, broke your heart, and attempted to destroy your family? "Good to see you" wouldn't be the first thing that would come to my mind. I'd say something more along the lines of "Get the hell outta here your skeezy scumbag!" I tend to use profanity when speaking of my father. He couldn't see me, but I flicked him off from my bedroom window as he was leaving. I know, its horrible, but it made me feel better.

It was decided that my sister was going to call him, decline his invitation to dinner, and then say that if we ever wanted to see him, we'd let him know. She's the oldest, so it just made sense. Well, as the phone was ringing she chickened out so I jumped in and did it. I almost threw up when I heard his voice.

This experience has brought a lot of things to a head. Like, I hate emotional men. I had forgotten that my dad was the type that could cry at the drop of a pin. I hate that. I guess it makes sense now why I hate it when guys cry in movies... the only time that I believe its appropriate for a man to cry is at funerals and weddings. Not all of them either. Funerals of immediate family, and wedding of daughters. That's it. Oddly enough, this is the kind of man my grandfather is. I prefer that over being so emotional. Yuck!

My dad left town on Monday. I still have a pit in my stomach. I can't get the sound of his voice out of my head. How do you erase a person from your life? It all would've been so much easier if he would've died. I know that sounds horrible. But then he wouldn't be around to screw us up for all eternity.

Throughout this weekend, I didn't feel like my mom helped matters at all. She was constantly on the phone with people. Her friends. Filling them in on what was going on. Why did it matter to them!? Did I mention my mom is a drama queen? My father was here to see his children, this wasn't all about her. I'm probably over-reacting, but I wanted to just try to cope with this as a family and I felt as though my mom was absent. She was too busy telling everyone how my dad told her she was "beautiful" and how he said he'd love to take her out dinner if us kids weren't interested. I can still hear her talking to him at the door, "Its good to see you!".... "Its good to see you!"... "Its good to see you!" She said it at least 3 times. Pardon me while I throw up.

Yeah, so that was the bad part of the weekend. There were good parts but I'll tell you about it later. I'm feeling too pessimistic just now.