Single in Stilettos

Just another day... with a pigeon

So, I was talking with my dear young friend Abbey and she TOTALLY invited me to go with her to MEXICO! She said probably at the end of July. I need a passport. Eek! That would be a great vacation. Although I don't like the idea of having to hang out in a bathing suit with Abbey. She's a cute small girl. That's not me. Yeah, so her family has a house down in Mexico so it means lodging would be FREE! Great cheap vacation. That's what I'm all about.

Oh, so I went to the gym yesterday and my trainer told me to think of him as a father figure.... then he switched and said, no, more of an older brother (he's older than my mother so he could definitely be old enough to be my father... but I wasn't going to tell him that, it might hurt his feelings and then he'd torture me.) Yeah, so then he told me how I was strikingly beautiful, and that when I finished losing weight how I'd "stop traffic"... weird if you ask me. But, hey, I always need a compliment so I gave him a weird look and said thanks.

My trainer is an absolute nut job. He's such a goofball, totally awkward... all the time. He's just weird like that. I'm thinking he might've done too many drugs in the 70's and 80's... so his brain is fried. Maybe that's it. Or maybe its from all the tanning. He has a severe tanning addiction. He lays out all the time and goes to the tanning bed and uses self tanner. Yeah, I told him he was a little OCD about the tanning. He tortured me later for saying that.

Oh, something happened! My BFF Jessica from my hometown is coming up this weekend! YAY! She's never been to visit me in DC. So, this is where the dilemia begins. What am I supposed to do with her ALL weekend? Oh, to make things more difficult... she's bringing her dog. Yeah, she has a little yappy dog that goes with her everywhere. Annoying? Usually. Yeah, so I need to find restaurants that are dog friendly and I need to figure out stuff to do with her on Saturday. Friday is easy, we'll just go out to dinner. Yeah, so my mind goes blank for any Saturday activities. She did say we could leave the dog for as long as 7 hours. So maybe downtown isn't out of the question. I might decide to be a heathen and do Sunday brunch with her. I've always wanted to do Sunday brunch, and she's a good excuse. She'll probably leave around 10 or so on Sunday morning since she knows I'm going to church (although she's pressuring me to skip).

Oh, so a few days ago I was raking/sweeping off my porch and patio. I was tidying up at the end and went to put a paintbrush on a shelf on my covered patio and something flew out at me! I SCREAMED, ducked, and ran like a lunatic out of my yard. I had assumed it was a bat or something, but it turns out it was a pigeon. Yes, a flying city rat.

Well, it scared the crud outta me. So, as I was leaving this morning, I saw it there again. Turns out that stupid pigeon has made a nest in the box with all the painting supplies. What am I supposed to do?! Do I throw out the nest? I don't know if there are any eggs in it (I wouldn't think so... its not spring anymore.) I'm just terrified the bird with peck me... no, I'm more retarded than that. I'm afraid the bird will touch me in some way. I'm a freak like that. I don't like interacting with wild flying rodents. EW! Yes, birds kinda gross me out. And for good reason.

posted by Me @ 9:59 AM