Single in Stilettos

The drama that is my life

You know what the worst part of vacation is? The day after you come back. I'm exhausted! My eyes are red, I have bruises all over my body, and I'm in a foul mood. That's what vacation does to me. Despite that, I had a good break. I'm being kind with that description. Perhaps too kind.

I arrived home on Thursday night to nothing but drama. My ex-stepfather had threatened my mother. No physical, but he said that her ex-husband, my father, was going to come out and pay a visit. (You may need some background here.... my father is. a. bad. man. Remember in school how they taught you not to talk to strangers and to go to the bathroom in groups when using public restrooms... yeah, my dad is one of those bad men. A bad man that got excommunicated from church and got convicted of doing bad things to a little girl. He didn't serve much jail time because he's fairly wealthy so he paid off dirty politicians. All-in-all, my dad is a bad man. A very bad man.)

Since my ex-stepfather threatened to expose my baby brother to this horrid man, our family took lots of precautionary measures. In the end, my baby brother was safe. The bad part of the story is that my dad ended up on our doorstep with an orchid for my sister and a very ugly, cheap ceramic cat for me. How do I always get the short end of the stick? I mean, he's got money... and lots of it! I mean, he could've at least attempted to tempt me to talk to him. The ceramic cat didn't do it for me. For a car, I'd say hello. But not for the cat. And why did my sister get anything? It was my birthday! I feel very jipped to this day (I've only had 5 days to get over it... maybe I'll get over it eventually).

So, with my horrid father in town, my sister and I came to express our memories of him. I told her the three I posted here, and she said that most of her memories were of him spoiling me. She reminded me that he would wake me up at midnight, take me downstairs, and we'd make malts and watch late night TV. It never ocurred to me that this was weird. My sister pointed it out. She asked if I thought it was weird at all that my father would wake up his 6 year old daughter in the middle of the night to have malts and watch TV? I'd never thought of it that way. I guess it was odd. I remember my mom being upset in the morning because the kitchen was a mess and I was asleep on the couch with my dad.

Okay, so back to my story of the weekend. He showed up at our front door after not seeing us or speaking to us for 14 years! Luckily my mom opened the door, I refused to see him, and then ran up to my room to call up my grandfather and freak out! My mom was overly nice to him which totally ticked me off. Why would you say "good to see you" to a convicted felon? A man that cheated on you, beat you, broke your heart, and attempted to destroy your family? "Good to see you" wouldn't be the first thing that would come to my mind. I'd say something more along the lines of "Get the hell outta here your skeezy scumbag!" I tend to use profanity when speaking of my father. He couldn't see me, but I flicked him off from my bedroom window as he was leaving. I know, its horrible, but it made me feel better.

It was decided that my sister was going to call him, decline his invitation to dinner, and then say that if we ever wanted to see him, we'd let him know. She's the oldest, so it just made sense. Well, as the phone was ringing she chickened out so I jumped in and did it. I almost threw up when I heard his voice.

This experience has brought a lot of things to a head. Like, I hate emotional men. I had forgotten that my dad was the type that could cry at the drop of a pin. I hate that. I guess it makes sense now why I hate it when guys cry in movies... the only time that I believe its appropriate for a man to cry is at funerals and weddings. Not all of them either. Funerals of immediate family, and wedding of daughters. That's it. Oddly enough, this is the kind of man my grandfather is. I prefer that over being so emotional. Yuck!

My dad left town on Monday. I still have a pit in my stomach. I can't get the sound of his voice out of my head. How do you erase a person from your life? It all would've been so much easier if he would've died. I know that sounds horrible. But then he wouldn't be around to screw us up for all eternity.

Throughout this weekend, I didn't feel like my mom helped matters at all. She was constantly on the phone with people. Her friends. Filling them in on what was going on. Why did it matter to them!? Did I mention my mom is a drama queen? My father was here to see his children, this wasn't all about her. I'm probably over-reacting, but I wanted to just try to cope with this as a family and I felt as though my mom was absent. She was too busy telling everyone how my dad told her she was "beautiful" and how he said he'd love to take her out dinner if us kids weren't interested. I can still hear her talking to him at the door, "Its good to see you!".... "Its good to see you!"... "Its good to see you!" She said it at least 3 times. Pardon me while I throw up.

Yeah, so that was the bad part of the weekend. There were good parts but I'll tell you about it later. I'm feeling too pessimistic just now.

posted by Me @ 3:17 PM