Single in Stilettos

Its hard to catch my breath

Yesterday was such a long day. In the end, I was just glad to see it end. Work was normal. I got hit on by every black guy within a mile radius of me. I went to the gym where I was frustrated because of my immobile wrists. My trainer just fueled my frustration. I had so much to do, I just couldn't stop and breath.

On my way home from the gym, I listened to my voicemails. My mom had called saying that my childhood cat died. I cried. What else am I supposed to do? I hate that I wasn't there to say goodbye. We've had her since she was 6 weeks old and now she's gone. She was only 12 years old. It came as a shock to all of us. My sister took her to the vet Monday and it looked good, then all of a sudden she crashed and then she was gone. My mom said it was horrific to watch. Of all of our cats, Tammy was the meanest. She didn't liked to be touched and would try to bite you if you tried. But she was the protector. She watched over the house and my mom and baby brother. When my stepdad became abusive, she pooped all over his clothes. She was so smart. I never knew cats could be so smart. She could open doors and turn on lights. One time she got locked in our basement for a few days and when we found her, she had refused to pee or poop on the floor and had used the sink instead. So smart. She was beautiful as well. She also was my mom and baby brother's favorite. She always tried to get into the house. She succeeded quite a few times. When she did, my mom would run around the house looking under all the furniture yelling, "Tammy, where are you?" So now everytime one of us looks under a bed or gets on our hands and knees, my brother starts saying, "Ta-mmy, where aa-rre you?" Its completely adorable. He won't be able to understand that she's gone so I'm sure he'll continue to do it. He always chased her around the backyard, trying to pet her. I don't know why she was his favorite, but she was. She always ran from him and tried to bite him most of the time, but he persisted and refused to be swayed by our other oh-so-nice cats. I feel horrible that I've never been with my mom when she's put down any of our animals. I've never watched death. I think its too much of a grownup thing. I know you all are probably bored to tears by this. I'm sorry. But she was family and now she's gone.

Yeah, so after getting the news that Tammy died, I wasn't exactly excited for my date. I had to run my roommate around since her car died and then I had to visit a girl from church. By the time I got home, it was 7:45pm and he had already arrived. I was still in my gym clothes. Yeah, so I hustled and got ready in 10 minutes (impressive if you ask me). We went to dinner at TGIFridays. We were just talking but I was continually annoyed because he checked out every girl that walked by our table. No wonder the guy is still single at 35! It totally drove me crazy! I doubt he even realized he was doing it, but it must have happened at least half a dozen times or more. He flattered me but didn't show it in how he treated me. He didn't open doors for me (which honestly isn't a big deal... but I find it impressive when a guys does do it) and then he didn't have much of a plan. After dinner we just went to his place and played cards. He hadn't even cleaned his place. I've never seen such a barren fridge in my life! You know, I like him but the whole checking out other girls thing really got to me. Could I handle that for the rest of my life? No. Definitely not.

At the end of the night, he walked me to the door and I just said thanks and that was that. He didn't attempt anything (which I was afraid he would). So, I've been talking to my coworkers about the whole date, and they insist that he was checking out other girls because of his insecurities, it had nothing to do with me. I just don't know. He's a nice guy, but he got a C- on the date last night. Even if we don't go out again, I feel like he needs some coaching in the dating department. Yeah, he needs a guy like Hitch. Maybe I can help him. No more of this checking out other girls stuff. It makes me feel like crap. Thanks. Yeah, I'm usually a girl that doesn't hold my tongue, but last night I didn't comment on the checking out thing and now I wish I had. Maybe next time... if there is a next time. Oh well.

As my mom always says, "Life sucks then you die." Too true.

posted by Me @ 8:33 AM