Blue Balls Won't Kill You!
As odd as it sounds, its absolutely true. My roommate and I were talking yesterday about men and dating. Everytime I've really dated a guy, he's tried to go farther than I would like, and then he acts as though I'm asking the world of him when I tell him to stop. Celibacy isn't a fatal disease, you won't die from it! Actually its quite the opposite. Its not the NOT having sex that will kill you, its the having of sex that will kill you. I'm at no risk for AIDS or any STDs. Its wonderful! And believe it or not, if I die tomorrow or in 80 years, I can guarantee its not the lack of sex that will kill me.
Guys always claim they're different. They have different needs. The whole-men-are-from-mars-and-women-are-from-Venus excuse. Yeah, whatever. Do you think I'm not horny every now and then? That I don't long to be held when I go to bed at night? I could just settle for a cuddle buddy and a friend with benefits, but that's not what I want. Like Carried said in Sex and the City, "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming,can't-live-without-each-other love."
I don't want a one night stand, I want forever. I want someone that I can't live without. I want someone that will be my whole world and I'll be his. Yes, every now and then I would love a NCMO, but where does that leave me? Still horny and all alone. I want to be loved. Have I ever been in love? I don't know. Once I thought I was, but it ended. Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering if I'll be alone forever. I never thought I'd be where I am now. My friends used to tell me to enjoy the single life, its all over once you get married. They aren't saying that anymore. They're too busy setting me up with every semi-decent guy under the age of 45. Yeah, and my mom's 46. I'm sick of being alone. I want someone to care if I wake up in the morning. Don't I deserve that?
I went to the opera last night with my roommate, because we're artsy like that. We began talking about my date from the other night. Yeah, it turns out 35-guy isn't so much 35. We actually have no idea how old he is. Her guess: 38. Yeah, that's old. He was a teenager when I was born! I mean, if blue balls could kill, he'd definitely be dead. I haven't heard from him. I guess that's to be expected. I mean, it wasn't a great date in my book.I talked to quite a few of my friends about the whole "checking out" problem he had. My guy friends claim its not a big deal, that guys do it all the time, the girls say... drop him. Talk about a clash of the sexes. Guys believe its acceptable, girls believe its not just socially unacceptable, its just plain wrong.
After the date, I found it hard to sleep. I kept thinking of how my life would be if I ended up with someone that constantly looked at other women. Would I ever be able to trust him? Would I ever be enough for him? I decided that I can't go through life that way. I can't handle being ignored everytime a pretty girl walks by. I want to be his everything. The one he can't take his eyes off of. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps, but I don't want to settle for less and I don't think I should have to.
posted by Me @ 8:16 AM
4 Comments:
I hate guys who pull that. UGH!
I would like to offer my perspective as a 31 year old single guy who is finally getting married in a few days. If the guy has not other redeeming qualities then definitely dump him. But, as I went back and read the post about the guy checking out girls during the date I wondered if I ever do that. For the past 15 years I think I have developed a sharp eye that is constantly on the lookout. It’s almost like a built in instinct to look for a mate. Like some kind of predatory urge. OK, well maybe it is not that sinister, but it is something we are trained to do. Now when I am out on a date I REALLY have to remind myself to suppress that desire. And it is not always easy. Sometimes I think guys convince themselves that they are doing it in a way that is not noticeable and maybe some aren’t. But I think it’s fair to say most guys have the tendency and have to make themselves be good. This guy might just need a gentle reminder not to check out girls why he is on a date with you. I bet if you talk to him about it it would make him more aware of his poor behavior.
I found your blog by googling "I want to be his everything".
I did it because, I'm in a really tricky relationship. She says she's in love with me, but she makes me feel like she's in love with having me. Which makes me feel like a thing. Does that make sense to you?
I want to share her dreams, but I don't know what they are. I want her to share my dreams, but she makes me believe they're not important to her.
As if, just as long as we're together the world can go to hell in a juice blender with a healthy sticker slapped on the side.
I'm kind of old, divorced and just a little stubborn about the way I want things done.
What do I say to her, that will help her understand without being that without my dream I'm nothing
Thanks
I'm in no position to be giving out relationship advice. You have seen my track record.
However, what I can tell you is love it about communication and sacrifice. If you will communicate, you'd be surprised what others are willing to sacrifice.
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