Single in Stilettos

Dating Age Bracket

My roommate is 32 and I've become friends with many of her friends despite our age gap. They're fun and laid back, not at all how I envisioned 30-somethings to be. They're like me, only older. Makes me want to grow up to be like them, you know? Well, recently we had a group of the 30-somethings over to our house and lets just say that I was the belle of the ball. I've developed a sorta friendship with one guy in particular. He's nice and we've gone dancing a few times. We're flirty friends. He compliments me constantly, I tease him about checking out my boobs (yes, I know, I'm SO refined). I can make him blush at the drop of a pin. Its great! Such power.

Anyway, recently this guy has been calling quite a bit. He calls our house phone (which we never use because we all have cell phones) and talks to my roommate for awhile and then asks her to hand off to me. I just think that is awkward. I mean, he used to date my roommate. They weren't hot'n'heavy or anything, just a few dates and then they've been friends ever since. But I feel like I'm in a bad situation. He called again last night. He spoke to my roomie for like 10 minutes and then she handed him off to me. It was like 10:30pm at this point so I obviously couldn't talk long (I have a job... hello!), but he and I talked for like 30 or 40 minutes. It was fun and flirty. He ended the conversation by saying we should get together next week (he's out of town this weekend) and I said sure. Here's the problem... he's 35. And there's another problem... my roommate. I love her, we're like sisters and I would never do anything to hurt her. She's dated this guy. They've been friends awhile. I haven't been exactly up front with her about what's going on (although nothing is going on as of yet). So, I'm afraid she'll be bitter because I went fishing in her small dating pool. In my defense, I never meant to go fishing. Its like the fish are just jumping in the boat. I don't even have any bait! So, this is my dilemia. What is my dating age bracket?

A few weeks ago I was talking to my best friend about this same guy and she said he was in my age bracket... which I disagreed with. Then she reminded me that I'm not 18 anymore. When does age stop to matter? When do we throw ages out the window and just date whoever? I wish I knew.

Having to do with this guy... its not the first time an older guy has liked me. I don't know what it is about me that older (as in 30-something or even older) guys find so attractive. Black guys love me as well. Latinos too! When I was just barely 18, I dated a guy the summer before I went to college. He was the type of guy that I just knew I could have if I chose to. Maybe you aren't familiar with the type. For some reason, girls (I'm assuming we all have it) have this innate intuition about men. We know when one is attracted to us or has the potential to be. Usually these guys are a little below our normal dating curve, but when we are lonely we tend to resort to these guys. This was just such a case. I batted my eyes at him and he was hooked. Our first date lasted 10 hours! (I wouldn't suggest this to most people... it started at 7pm, you do the math. Just to note, my mom didn't have a strict curfew, but then again, I never did tell her what time I came in.) After our first few dates, he starts to spill his guts to me. I come to find out that he's 30, divorced, living with his parents, and in high school fathered a child that was put up for adoption.

It was a little much for my pre-college self. I had assumed he was like 23. Yeah... NO! I tried to stop seeing him. I even tried to break up with him quite a few times but for some reason, it never stuck. He adored me... and I love to be adored. By the end, I knew it couldn't last because I was embarrassed to be seen in public with him. I know this sounds shallow, but honestly, if you can't stand to be seen with him, what kind of future does the relationship have? Yeah, ultimately I broke up with him the night before I left for college. It went something like this:

Him: Well, I'm going to miss you so much! I need your address so I can come up and visit.
Me: Uh... I don't know if offhand.
Him: Okay, just give me your dorm phone and I'll call you and we can plan it out.

(at this point I've having visions of this 30-something showing up in my college dorm and seeing all my roommates and friends reactions... yeah, no!)

Me: Yeah, about that. I don't want to leave any loose ends down here.
Him: What?
Me: When I come home, I'll be coming to see my family. I don't want to have anyone else pining for my time. I'm sorry.

Then he just stands there, looking hurt. I'm feeling like the biggest jerk ever. But that did it. He was gone. Years later I ran into him working as a manager of a smoothie shop. Guess I dodged that bullet. Phew.

I was having self-esteem problems last night, thinking I wasn't good enough for 35-guy. I woke up this morning and felt like a fat blob. I dressed as such and went to work where there are nothing but men. I guess its one of the perks (if you could call it that) of my job. My office is 40 men, 4 women... too bad the men are like ages 45-60. One of the employees from an offsite office is here on an errand and starts talking to me. Leroy. He's probably upper 30's, big black guy. He obviously likes me. When he leaves, I have to run get the parking pass from him out in front of the building. He pulls up and gives me the pass then asks me if I'm married. I'm use to these kind of questions. I say no. He then asks if I'm dating anyone (at this point, I notice his wedding ring), so I say kinda. He looks me over and then says, "Well, you tell him he's one lucky guy. If he ever gives you any grief, you come and see me!" I laugh and say thanks.

Yeah, this is my typical work day. Hit on constantly, its great for the self esteem (it solved my self esteem problem for the day), but why don't the white guys hit on me? 35-guy is white, but he's older. I wish I could just meet someone in my age bracket... oh yeah, what's my age bracket?

posted by Me @ 12:12 PM